Nervous

Jun. 6th, 2014 10:55 pm
tapas: (Default)
[personal profile] tapas
We have invited the neighbor kids and their parents over for a pool party tomorrow. There are 5 neighbor kids within -1 to +3 years of C's age and only one of them has their own pool.

I was raised by introverts. Introverts with a profoundly disabled child. I can count on one hand the number of times I remember anyone other than a relative entering any home I lived in before the age of 18. I am nervous, but I would like C's experience to be different and I am willing to endure some discomfort to make that so. However, the house and yard are not up to perfectionist standards.

Today I decided that I would deliberately let that go. I am thinking that we could choose to be the neighbors you were not afraid to invite over because they clearly weren't holding themselves or anyone else to unrealistic Martha Stewart standards.

That's sane, right? As long as I sweep the floors and wipe the counters, the fact that there are toys and books everywhere and the back yard (outside the pool area) is a jungle is ok?

Dear Internet, please validate me.

(no subject)

Date: 2014-06-07 10:22 am (UTC)
crystalpyramid: crystal pyramid suspended in dimensional abnormality (Default)
From: [personal profile] crystalpyramid
Yes. Totally sane. I think your way of rationalizing it by wanting others to feel comfortable inviting you over is totally sound. There's this whole weird cultural thing where everyone apparently is required to apologize for the state of their houses when they have guests over, no matter how great their house is, and I don't get it at all.

I wish my mother (the anxious extrovert) had done more inviting people over when I was a kid -- I think she definitely held back because of the state of our house, and was unhappy because of it.

I hope it goes well!

(no subject)

Date: 2014-06-07 12:04 pm (UTC)
irilyth: (Only In Kenya)
From: [personal profile] irilyth
Certainly in the limited context of people with kids, anyone with kids will understand that the house of anyone else with kids is not going to spend a lot of time being perfectly clean, at least not without a significant professional staff.
Edited Date: 2014-06-07 12:05 pm (UTC)

(no subject)

Date: 2014-06-07 02:19 pm (UTC)
ruthling: (Default)
From: [personal profile] ruthling
that is entirely sane and healthy. So long as your house is not actually a hazard, there's no shame in inviting anyone over. Especially other people with kids. Hope you all have a great time.

(no subject)

Date: 2014-06-11 11:04 pm (UTC)
ruthling: (Default)
From: [personal profile] ruthling
yay! i find hosting exhausting in a way socializing otherwise isn't (mildly extroverted here) but I still like to do it.

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